FOURTEEN RADICAL WAYS TO IMPROVE CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE IN INDONESIA

Going and watching movies in Indonesia can be very painful, unlike any other country where no 5 year old can watch Saw IV, here, as long as you got the cash, anybody admitted.

1. Strict ban of cellphone, use cellphone signal jammers which neutralize all cellphone signal inside the theatre, it cost much but worth buying. Announce on the screen that handphone signals are neutralized.
2. Stop the film the moment somebody turning on their cell to find out why they had no signal at all...
3. ….have a high resolution CCTV inside the theatre directed at the viewers and zoom in at the culprit who talks or turning the cellphone, stop the ongoing film, display his obnoxious confused face at the screen. Put a title on the picture: PUBLIC ENEMY
4. ….announce via speaker that if the culprit keep doing the same thing during the film, ten Russel Crowe look alike will hush them.
5. ..if there's no Russel Crowe look alike available, hire Jason Statham look alike
6. Ban babies, children, ghosts, pets, senior citizen with weak heart and obnoxious teenagers to watch R Rated flick
7. Electronic polling booth located outside the exit entrance with button ranging from one to five, viewers can insert their ticket piece inside the machine and vote once, one ticket for one vote. Display the end result under the posters everyday.
8. ..if the end result shows that the film suck, the viewers can bring the piece of their ticket and demand 50% refund. The refund was paid by the filmmaker.
9. Dry clean the seats, especially those on the back row.
10. Play the film until the end, do not cut the credit title
11. Unless of natural disaster or mugging, do not make the viewers wait for the 5th reel to come and try to entertain them during intermission with Backstreet Boys's ”I want it that way”
12. Better subtitles with smaller fonts, or for me, no subtitles at all
13. Better treatment of the film, I hate to see the image of Jessica Alba’s two-piece bikini getting a pararel vertical scratch.
14. A clean toilet....